I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
