i was born a porn star she said
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
