As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
