normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
