If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
