well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
