we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
