im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
