I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I want her autograph on my taint
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
