I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
