did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
