Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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