Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
