I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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