So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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