We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
