Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
