Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
lets start a swedish sibling band together
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think your dad took our porno
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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