so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
