You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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