I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i drank out of a bidet.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
