making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
