guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
