just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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