Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
