girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
