I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
