Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
