I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He passed out mid-signature
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
this hospital has no fireball
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
