yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This is the high leading the old right now
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
