But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
