oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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