Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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