Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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