Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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