So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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