he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
