my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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