foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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