Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
