I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
