Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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