also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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