super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this boner is exhausting
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
