Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
