No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
