I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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