Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
worst night to have a conscience
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
