it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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