A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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