Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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