im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
